So tempted and whatmost is that I love to see my parents out smiling.
Well, discussed and negotiated and I guess I'm only gonna cancel work tmr and go JB as time constrains then. hehs~
Met GF regina up for dinner during break and aft work, we went for movie.
=) Girlfriends (=
I wanna MJ and CLUB and DRINK till I drop~~!! haha~! Holidays is ending in 3 weeks~~!
Pre-sch's blues =(
Anws, one 'thing' I finally & suddenly wanna 'media' about :
would you like your bf to have a girl's friend who you dont like even b4 you got together with him and that she's always contacting him? how would you feel seeing their photos with her edits and saying dearest buddy and 'his name', her time to time texts and calls even late at night asking if he's asleep/at where etc.. There's once worse, she said her bf's not going over her house. LOL sia. There so many things if I were to list all that I could. HA! And rmb my bold point, 'you dont like her some more, not just that she's a girl'
I believed there's nothing but bf, you taught me that anythg could happen btwn a girl and a guy, right? Im not suspecting abt that kinda thg cus I trust myself to trust you at least till now. Neither am I really jealous. I'm just annoyed, disgusted and irritated?~
I'm gradually not affected as much as b4 but I just feels 'eee' everytime her name/voice/face appears. I dont see 'automatic-ness' ! she's, to me, fake( in front like this behind like that?), 'smart' in the sense that makes use of others to benefits, loves making gd connections everywhere, loves having GUYS ard?, the very 'TEH' tone( I dont like, mayb you like), 'hiao hiao?' and etc..
I know I might be 'bad-mouthing' on a biased view and I can be considered as 'act' too as on the surface, I smile and I talks to her if unfortunately met. =P
But its all becus we know (just know k, lol) each other for long and all are friends. Anws, I dont HATE her to the extend of not acknowledging her too.
well, time passes and thgs/ppl changes more ba. She had allowed me to see so much and hear so much abt her personality from her 'close enuf ' which cant be gossips. Plus the bloody 'connection' with my bf, It just proves that my instincts and ability to judge someone, in this case its her, is high.
I think there might be gd points too but not enuf for me to mention ba. And I think she reacted with the dont care and so? kind of attitude which I heard when someone told her dont contact my bf too much alr as he has me now. nice right? well well, nvm. I din heard it myself, forget it. but I can imagine.. -argh-
I swallowed basically cus of the friendships, for my bf and for all our faces and I definitely dont wanto mess thgs up tho I guess I've the right to.. anws, I gotta admit that I'm really unhappy and affected inside yet unable to DO anythg. No wish to do so either as there'll not be of much meaning if everythg needs to be said and handled specifically. Ppl are like that, it'll be like that.
I just wanna say that smtimes in situations like this, think, what's your closest who is in the problem of your problem's reaction or way of handling ? In this case it'll be for me to look at my bf. Then think, is it worth to be bothered if he's allowing the problem to bother me? Mmm.
Its been a long time that this issue was in me... Im always minding but Im gonna be cool abt it AS POSSIBLE =) we're at least mild friends too. Mayb girl, you just dont think, reflect and understand, its okay. Just hope that I wont have to make you do so in any way one day.
In all, I just hope my loved and closed ones stays a distance from her thats all.
hehs' I mayb possesive and fiercer/mindful to ppl I bother abt actually. but Im loving you ppl right too ok =P
Bf, you knows it best what lies were made involving her and how much I feels annoyed once her voice/face/even name reaches you. Hope ya dont make me feels unworthed for. Its esp you that I mind. Hope we wont let outsiders spoils us.
And anw, army really changes a guy I reckon. Im liking you more and we're happier together now I think. Ppl always dont cherish when there's plenty of chance/time together? hah. hope ya'll be strong and always take gd care, dont say depress cus I what, scared I what, I've always no wish to do anythg behind you my dear.
Angela shared alot with me and lil darl girl, I wanna tell you that if you're unfit to be human, I'm unfit too. Pls wake up and get out of your hurt from that 'friendship' you saw back then till now. u'll noe who are frens and who arent somehow. For any other things in life, its simply cus its life. -Im always genuinely here for ya esp in darkness, you'll just have to live on strongly pls.
Will the ppl involved in this long wordy post ever read it? hahs. Seems that I'm rattling too much for too long. =X
Am i dying?? I still wanna write about my family, my thots to them and some other friends/ppl and feelings to thgs etc ~~ wth! haha. its too late alr and Im afraid the sight of this post would scare you who might be reading. lol. shall save it for next post?
THATS ALL. ITS A LONG POST. -gosh- ANYONE READ IT ALL? HAHA.
nights dudes